Dedication – On this Guru Poornima of 2018, 27th July, I dedicate this heart felt writing to all Gurus, deities, healing energies, sacrificing parents, my astrologer, seniors and friends who have acted as guides. Humble gratitude. Writing this with the blessings of Maha-avtaar Kriya Babaji and few loyal friends, who have stood by me.
This year has been complicated for me, times are definitely complicated for simple-hearted and innocent-minded people.
My guru, Shri Madabusi Subramaniam ji, an accomplished Kriya yogi, and master of various spiritual methods & healing techniques, a retired engineer who has worked with prestigious organizations, never gave in to money and fame. I haven’t been able to practice Kriya yoga yet, but I have been able to survive under his grace by turning spiritual and religious. If my guru never compromised for worldly pleasures, least I can do is try and learn this from him.
A couple of days back, I called him. Called him because I had this notion that ‘whenever I make myself stronger, divine gives me a harder test.’ And that was not fair probably and I wanted to just express this to him.
Normally, I do not call him frequently, for he is now old and wishes to stay aloof, in the higher planes of energy. Even if I call him, half of the times, he wouldn’t pick up. Much later, I would get to hear from him. But this time, I meditated with all my might to connect with him spiritually before calling, and he picked up my call.
I met him last on the Guru Poornima of 2017. Been a year. And in this one year, I spoke to him only twice or thrice. But he has been helping in some most crucial moments, without telling me. Of this, I am sure. So when he picked up, I wanted to instantly thank but was overwhelmed. I asked him about his health after wishing him pranams.
He replied usual, and inquired about my and family’s well being. I told him, we are doing ok. I asked him, if he is meeting people on Guru Poornima. He said that would not be possible as his wife was not keeping well. He said he would call me after a few weeks probably. I knew he could see everything, the past, the present and possibilities of future. My voice started shaking. I cleared my throat, trying to hold up to his silent observations bravely. Few moments of silence.
Then, I mustered some courage finally and whispered, ‘have you forgiven me for taking so many wrong decisions’. He smiled, a slight laugh and said ‘It is Ishwara who forgives, I am nobody, and he doesn’t keep grudges of his people like this’. My heart melted. I had been trying to keep up to right values and been doing bhakti in difficult times.
Then I said, ‘I started with a job, which I could not continue. I also messed up social life.’ He replied, ‘you hurried into job, you needed to wait, have patience’. I was a bit surprised. He knows my prarabdha?! Then I started to say ‘But how…’ Before I could finish, he said, ‘you will not have any major financial crunches this year’! My eyes were open wide.
I wanted to truly thank him but could just say ‘hmm, guruji’, I told him if he needed any help with his wife’s health, i was always just a message away. He just nodded, a slight sound. I didn’t know what more to say, I was thanking Kriya Babaji and guruji, both of them with complete shraddha. They have also saved me in the past from major disasters.
He again said, ‘have patience, daughter needs attention currently’. Yes, indeed, it’s her birthday coming and various other plans for her had been waiting because I had been procrastinating out of depression and hurt.
I finally thanked him, he blessed me and I ended the call. I closed my eyes, though my aura was still full of cloudy thoughts and various confusions, my chakras were beating hard, as if reverberating in the universe. It dawned upon me that the notion, that divine was giving me a harder test just when I worked on myself and became stronger, was a total folly. In fact, divine was preparing me for the coming prarabdha! So that I sustain! I felt sorry and apologized in my heart for such a twisted thinking in the first place.
I took 2 more days to settle down, imbibe what Guruji had said, I am much better now. When Guru speaks………. he speaks the world in little words!!
Humble salutations to all gurus! Right gurus are like a boat in the ocean of this materialistic world, they sail you through!
I humbly submit at the feet of guru…
Ananta samsara samudra tara naukayitabhyam guru bhaktitabhyam,
Vairagya samrajyadha poojanabhyam, namo nama sri guru padukabhyam!
Also deeply thank all the learned seniors for their association.